Monday, November 5, 2007

Pardon Me

Pardon me. I don't want to go to jail because I'm innocent so I will just have to ask the President to forgive me. For what crime? For just being more loved by Filipinos. Can I help it if more people love me? At least, millions of Filipinos surely voted for me. But her - I'll just keep my mouth shut just in case she takes back the pardon she gave me.

Going back to the apology... You know, that "I am sorry" line is not really my thing. If I were to say I'm sorry, it would mean that I did something really bad (like stealing candies, or pulling someone's hair, or something more dreadful like lying to people's faces). But I really insist that I did nothing wrong.

Is it a crime to be loved by the poor? Why then should I apologize at all? If I have indeed committed a crime, the government would not even think of giving me a new job! I have actually heard that the government is eyeing a position for me as Anti-Poverty Consultant. Straight from detention and I have a potential job offering in the government. This is turning out quite nice. I won't be one those unemployed Filipinos. How many of them are there, anyway? Who cares! I won't be one of them once I become a consultant of this adminsitration.

I just love my friends!

According to some people, I did not sign my pardon; only my lawyer's signature was on it. Why do I have to sign? That would imply that I am admitting that I have faulted. So, I asked my faithful lawyer to prepare my petition and sign it for me. My lawyer can't do anything but sign his name because that is his job! At least, if he signed, my image is still innocent. I will always have a ready excuse for people's charges that I am guilty because I never signed the darned petition for pardon. Ain't I so smart? Sometimes, I really amaze myself.

So, for those of you who want violate the law and get rich at the same time, run for president, be impeached, be convicted and make friends with the current president who is hated by almost everyone, except her staff. You will not be pardoned, but you will also be admired by everybody for being the luckiest person alive!

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